Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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