I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
