hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
