THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
this must be what syphilis tastes like
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
