YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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