i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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