The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
