my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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