I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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