I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
