if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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