Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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