420 ftw
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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