So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
