Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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