He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
