I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Too much gin, very little bucket
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
