I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize