Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
