mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
