I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
