Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
