youre lurking in front of me
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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