So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I need a burrito and a hug.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
