you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
