I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
