She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
