then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
