omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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