so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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