I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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