just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize