did you get engaged???
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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