My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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