He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
