this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
