He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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