Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize