My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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