are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
