i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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