so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
