He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
this boner is exhausting
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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