PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
