i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
