You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
they need to just BURY HIM!
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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