No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
