I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
