What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
