We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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