OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
