its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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