nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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