PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize