Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
You were trust falling into bushes
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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