I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
