I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize