So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
