Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I haven't been this sober since birth.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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