Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
high people should be assigned attendants
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
