Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
