What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
