I'm going to jail i love you
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
