Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
