how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
