Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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