so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
