East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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