My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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