I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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