my vag is so smooth its legendary
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
