Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
