I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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