I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
