If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
