My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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