I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
