Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
